Michael Fassbender Dancing

Hola!

I love this video so much.


...Oh and I also got an iPhone 4s! Yay! (12/28/12) =)

An Update From My Cave and Current Reads

Christmas is over and New Year's coming really soon. Like really soon, 3 days from now to be exact. I just hope 2013 could be as good as 2012. Everything just went smoothly this year, far better than 2011 that's for sure.

Anyway, Christmas was uneventful (as usual) no gifts opened, Noche Buena was okay. The difference this year was that I went over to my friend's house after Noche Buena at home! Yay! We exchanged gifts and all that. I got a bag!!! Yaaay!

Now on to my current reads this term break. I haven't read much, which is disappointing as I wanted to use this free time to read more. Oh well. But at least I have a pile waiting for me whenever...

1. Why We Broke Up

Emotions. Feelings. 

2. Bossypants

3. Sex with Kings

Add caption

4. Bakit Hindi Ka Crush Ng Crush Mo

Comes with a free notebook!

As of now I'm only done with Ramon Bautista's book. It's not really a novel type, more on reminders and tips about life and love. It's very funny and actually pretty helpful; doesn't beat around the bush. Well, coming from Ramon Bautista, we expect nothing less.

Internet Finds

1. RJ King's sassiness

2. 

{ You can be lonely even when you're loved by many people, since you're still

not anybody's one and only }

- Anne Frank

3. Logan Lerman's Beauty 

4. When the sky's red or pink, that's when it's very polluted

5. This.

6. 

{ From the first date I changed. No more women. Well actually, thousands of women.

I wake up to a different one each day, but they are all her }

- Russell Brand on Katy Perry

7. This.

8. My sexy Norman Theuerkorn

9.  The 3 Kinds of Heartbreak

10. This.

11. My very handsome Cristiano Ronaldo

8. This, This, This, and This

Movie Marathon but mostly a Michael Fassbender Appreciation Post

Ever since my term break started, I've been watching atleast 1 movie a day. This might be a lengthy post if done in paragraph form so in the usual format of my blog, I'll just make a list of everything! Yay!

So it all started with...

1. Lolita

• I've heard of this novel long ago. I wasn't keen on it at first as I've read from the internet that it was an old dude in love with a young girl, and I was turned off by that idea (read: pedooo) but one day I downloaded an epub of Lolita and I actually kinda liked it, I wasn't able to finish it though. It was this quote that actually got me. It was so heartfelt and beautiful and just exuded pure love. The movie was actually pretty interesting. It wasn't the pedo movie that I expected it to be. You can just see that Humbert was just so in love with Lolita that he was willing to give up everything for her. One of the saddest parts of the movie for me is when he went to visit the very pregnant Lolita and asked her if she would go away with him. If she chose not to, she'd still get the money she asked for. She got the money and refused to go. There was a look in her eyes that just screamed "I don't care about you I just care about the $4k you're about to drop on my lousy ungrateful ass". Ugh. It almost made me cry. I hated Lolita but can I just say how crazy sexy Dominique Swain is and how lovely her clothes were in this movie?! Ugh unbelievable!!! Also, the ending left me satisfied as I found out that Lolita died in childbirth.

2. Hunger

• For some odd reason, Jeremy Irons reminded me of Michael Fassbender who I kinda liked on X-Men: First Class. I found this movie and got interested in it since it's the story of Bobby Sands. (Not gonna lie, didn't know his name til I watched the movie) but I was familiar with his face. (I googled him). I remember him from an episode of a show in TLC. Basically the story is about Bobby Sands who fought for his rights by protesting through a hunger strike. What amazed me more than the story is Michael Fassbender (After watching this I ended up downloading around 5 more movies of him) and his skinny transformation! I loved him because of that. I love actors who are willing to change and drop down to unhealthy weight just for a role. Shows dedication. There was also this long ass dialogue between him and a priest. I mean long as dialogue. Like maybe 20 minutes or so. In a single shot, I believe. WOW. OKAY. WOW. 

 

3. Shame

• Michael Fassbender as a sex addict. Peen shots. Sex scenes. I mean, what more do you need? He was good in this movie, as always. It was also during this movie that I found out his love interest here is his girlfriend in real life. Did a bit of background check, found out that M. Fassbender likes em chocolate skinned. I died.

I mean can we be serious here. If this man stared at me on the subway I'd pretty much get at it right then and there. Lol.
Just kidding (or am I)

4. Inglourious Basterds

• I've wanted to watch this for a while now but I never had the time and it always slipped my mind. Finally, since I was on a Michael Fassbender movie marathon, I downloaded this! It didn't disappoint! There were some gory scenes, but nothing I couldn't handle. Too bad my Fassbender got shot in the balls.. What a way to die. Only because he did the wrong "3" sign.

5. Prometheus

• Another movie I downloaded because of Fassbender. I was a bit obsessed, okay. Anyway I couldn't really stand the whole movie and it was all too weird for me so I ffw'd it so I was done with the whole movie in like 30 minutes or so. I skipped a lot of parts. I really found the weird squidward people engineer aliens very very odd looking and disturbing. There was also this disgusting scene where a squid was extracted from one of the scientists' stomach. It was just straight up disgusting and weird. Poor robotic Fassy wasn't enough for me to watch this whole thing. There was also an actor who looked very much like Tom Hardy but even he couldn't hold my interest. Too bad.

6. Fish Tank

• 1st reason I downloaded this: Michael Fassbender. 2nd reason: Good reviews. 3rd reason: Michael Fassbender. So he played the mum's boyfriend then the daughter kinda fell in love with him, too but eventually it was found out that he was a douchebag because he already has a family but before that he had sex with the daughter and wow ok he's sexy. Am I shallow for thinking this? I liked the movie but whenever Fassy appears on screen I just melt into a glob.

OH DEAR LORD.

7. Don't Trust The Bitch in Apt. 23

• Not a movie but a TV series. It's kinda funny, some cheap laughs and some witty puns. I like the sassy Chloe girl and June's has this bug-cuteness in her. I can't stand James Van der Beek, though.

I still have a long list of movies to watch. Hopefully I could watch them all this Christmas break! And now I leave you with a picture of the very very very sexy (REALLY SEXY) Michael Fassbender!!!!!!

You. Are. Welcome.

Update On My Life + Dinner plans + Nigella's Magical Fingers

Officially on term break!!! ...since last Friday night, which was spent boozing (SUPER COOL KID RIGHT HERE) --NOT REALLY. It was a chill night with geerlfuhrends, I scoffed down a big burger then caught up with what's new in each other's lives over beer, loud 90s music and really hot calamares.  I was a bit buzzed but I wasn't drunk drunk. I drove home a bit late, I didn't kill anyone so thank God for that. Just kidding. I'm an ok driver and I wouldn't drive if I was pissed drunk. I'm a responsible citizen of this nation. So the next day my mom kinda (very mildly, like in a scale of 1 to kicking my ass out of this house.. it was about -1) scolded me since the car smelled like alcohol and whatever. For a split second I kinda felt bad because it wasn't really me who reeked of alcohol, it just so happened that my shirt absorbed all the shit in that chill/bar-whatever-place. I mean, I was (-1 level) scolded for something I didn't do! But of course I defended myself! I told them I wouldn't drive if I was drunk blabla I also had a tone in my voice but it wasn't a big deal. Good. Cos I have like 2 or 3 more christmas parties to attend to and all includes alcohol (COOL GIRL) and hopefully I wouldn't reek this time. :(

ANYWAY BLA BLA BLA WHATEVER

Uhm. So yes. It's almost Christmas!!! 6 days before it, actually. I'm kind of excited! Not that this year would be any different than last year or the year before that. There's nothing to look forward to on Christmas day for me. My family doesn't really give gifts to each other. And I admit, up until Christmas 2010, I still would come down on and check under the tree. That maybe, just maybe, my parents would've left something for us. But there never is anything under the tree. Which is a bit sad, now that I think of it. But whatever. It's been like that for the longest time anyway.

I passed my SALESBA class this term!!!! I'm so happy!! I'm now just waiting for 2 more subjects then I'd be officially done with my last academic term in college. WHAT?! I'M DONE?! WHAT?! Another chapter of my life is slowly coming to an end?! *knocks on wood* Fuck I still have thesis/ojt but still!!! Last academic term!!!! Last. There's something about that word that makes me uneasy. I can't believe 4 years have passed. Where did the time go?! I remember being in such a hurry to graduate and now that I'm almost almost there... I kinda wish I could stay a bit longer. Not to do school work, but you know, just chill. I don't even know.

Anyway! Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves (myself). I'll reminisce more when I am sure that I'm graduating next June! *FINGERS CROSSED*

Let's not focus on the now. A.K.A. CHRISTMAS EVE DINNER!!!!

As usual, I have grand plans on what to have for noche buena. The other day I was planning to make baked cheesecake sometime this week but I never really got to it. I asked my mom if we could do it but with her busy schedule, I doubt we could. And of course, being the lazy (and kitchen incompetent) me, I couldn't do it by myself. It's best for everyone's safety.

AAHHH I TYPE TOO MUCH. ON TO WHAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO SAY ON THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH.

Here's my list on what to make on Christmas eve to make this the best Christmas eve dinners yet:

1. Pumpkin Soup

• Granted I haven't tried that much pumpkin soup in my life, I'm very much willing to make one. I watched Nigella do it and it looked pretty easy. (BUT JUSTINE! IT'S NIGELLA! HER FINGERS ARE MAGICAL AND YOURS ARE LIKE MEANT TO DESTROY EVERY MEAL YOU TRY TO MAKE) I know, ok. Everything in this list is for approval of my mother, the domestic goddess in this household.

2. Baked Cheesecake

• PLEASE JUST LET ME FULFILL MY DREAM OF BEING ABLE TO CREATE CHEESECAKE. LIKE PLEEEASEEEE. Or buying the Cheesecake factory cheesecake from SNR would do, too. I'm not that picky. Besides, it'd mean less washing up to do (which is always a good thing).

Well so actually there are just 2 things that I wish to make for Christmas eve dinner. What a list. OH AND THIS LIST COULD ALSO APPLY TO NEW YEAR'S EVE DINNER. Just incase I get to lazy or if I burn down the house the first try. Try and try until you succeed, yes?

How University Life Changed Me: Style

With just 3 more final exams left on my last academic term, I can't help but reminisce on how fast my university life flew by. A lot has changed with me, first is the obvious physical transformation. Just recalling my drab outfits which I used to wear back when I was a freshman, still gives me shivers. Ughk.

My freshman regular day outfit consisted of leggings, an oversized shirt and Keds. I only owned around 3 pairs of jeans, none were pretty. I remember one was bell-bottomed, faded a bit, an overall not flattering.

I also committed so many fashion faux pas. I used to (not often, but I did) buy unflattering clothes, smaller than my size because I was very insecure with my body and felt that buying smaller sizes would motivate me to lose the weight. It didn't. And it left me with a bunch of unused S/XS clothes that are now comfortably placed up at our attic. I feel bad that I wasted money, if only I had used it to buy clothes that looked good on me then maybe I could've gotten a college boyfriend.

I couldn't remember what I wore on my second and third year in university. I think I was still into the big shirt thing. But things got better since I lost some weight and my clothes started to fit me well and with so much fashion inspiration around me in school, I was encouraged so dress up more.

It was only during my 4th year that I became much more conscious with how I look. I started buying makeup, went on to buy flattering clothes and such. At one point I was into cutting up my old shirts. It looked cool to me for a while but then I kind of got embarrassed since almost everyday I wore cut up shirts and I felt that maybe people might think I don't own any proper clothes. I stopped doing that.

Now I think I'm much more confident since I wear better clothes. I'm no fashionista, of course. But I look pretty decent already. Too bad I'm in my last academic term. So much for that college boyfriend dream! Lol.

High Noon Melancholia

Been feeling down in the dumps since last night. I'm not sure if it's the mood swings due to PMS, the stress from all the workload, or.. I don't even know anymore.

Since I'm sad I decided to go on to thoughtcatalog since that's what all sad people do, right? Go and read articles about love, life, and relationships that would make them even sadder. It's Friday, high noon, the sun is shining (more like spitting fireballs but whatever) and I'm at home depressing myself more and more.

I don't think there's anything wrong with what I'm doing. I'm embracing the sadness so the good feelings feel... better. Does that make sense? I do this to make the happy feeling much more enjoyable. Ugh ramblings. Now to the purpose of this post! Here are a few quotes from my thoughtcatalog article adventures. Quotes that I wish to save and post on Twitter but I won't because it'd validate everyone's perception of me being the pathetic lovelorn 20 year-old (that I truly am).


1. When You Are The One Who Loves More

Suddenly, approval and affection from your partner become the only kind of currency that matter to you — the only thing capable of convincing you that you are good and worth loving. Because so much of you has been invested in convincing them that you deserve them, if they don’t recognize it, it can feel that no one ever will.

2. 8 Lies I Told You

I told you near the end that I felt like there was nothing to talk about anymore. In reality, I was afraid I was too invested in you, in us, and I thought I was allowing myself to be tied down too soon. I told you that it just didn’t feel right anymore. Truth is it felt too right, and I pulled away from you because I couldn’t accept you as my this-is-it then.

3. 7 Dating Lessons I'm Still Working On Learning

 It sucks, but it’s also an important part of getting older, realizing that life has the ability to break you. You need to get your heart broken by somebody to realize how important love is and that it shouldn’t be taken for granted, so that when the right person comes along, you’ll be the right person for them. You won’t be that person who doesn’t realize how lucky they are to find the kind of relationship some people wait their whole lives for. You’ll come into the relationship with your heart and eyes open.

You just know

...that the Beckham boys would grow up to be (very) attractive men.

Best ever!

Such a big fangirl of Rizzle Kicks. There's not much artists that I love as much as I love them. This is such a big deal for me until now!

I know that for some this is a small thing and admittedly I used to think that people who die for their favorite actor/musician's attention is a bit crazy but having been a huge fangirl, I know understand. I am now a part of those crazy bunch.

Amy, Amy, Amy

I've loved Amy Winehouse's songs ever since I heard "Rehab" on MTV. Me, being a big blues/soul fan, instantly fell in love with her. Her voice is so full and deep and though at times she sounds like she's rambling, it still works perfectly well with the vocals. She has this extraordinary talent that she doesn't even need to try to sing properly to produce such amazing songs.

Just the other day I went on a search for more of Amy. It's been a while since I last listened to her. I downloaded (pirate, sorry) this album

and it was perfect. The album included some remixes of her old songs. One of which is my most favorite Amy Winehouse song "Tears Dry On Their Own" (Original Version)

The oldschool vibe, 50's americana sound appeals so much to me. It brings me back to the 50's, times that I wasn't even able to experience. She just has that kind of voice that transcends you through time. Her songs make me sad when it's intended to be sad, it makes me happy when the songs intend be to be happy. Her voice is just perfect and it really is sad that we lost her when she was at her peak.

Her life lived in trouble and controversy, it's surprising how she was still able to create such amazing songs. I guess I just have to be thankful that I'm able to appreciate her music, a part of her that will never ever die.

1. You Sent Me Flying

2. Help Yourself

3. Our Day Will Come

4. Valerie (68' Version)

5. Best Friends, Right?

HW HW HW HW HW AAAHHH

Just a quick blog post before I dive back to the pool of work that I still have to do! Aaahhh!! Now's the worst time to be sick I swear to God. I have 2 reports tomorrow, 1 paper to pass and 1 deadly law recitation! What the hell!! Why do all of these fall on the same day?! I'm so pissed off! The only thing that's keeping me sane is the idea that after tomorrow I'll be able to exhale for a while. Weekend please come sooner?

NEW FAVORITE SONG AS OF 10/08/2012

LOL. Anyway! This is the first time I've heard of this song and of this artist! I fell in love for the first 10 seconds!! I'm so hyper right now because I'm just so in loooove with this song!

Leah Labelle's very pretty, too! The beat is perfect! And the video is perfect! And Pharrell's cameo is perfect! AAAAHHHH!!!

Bored + Playlist + Best Book EVER + UH, NORMAN

Hullo! Just a quick post so I could have a reason to procrastinate a bit more. Today's Monday! And tomorrow's Tuesday! But I don't have to wake up early! Because my first class is free cut! I do have 2 quizzes, though that I should be studying right now but I can't be bothered atm BECAUSE! I'M LAZY! I'M TIRED! (Of bumming all day) AND I'M TYPING OUT THIS LAME ASS BLOG ENTRY SO I COULD HAVE A REASON TO PROCRASTINATE A BIT MORE!

I'm so full right now. I had a very very very heavy dinner. I "worked out" a bit this afternoon but fucking shit I gained it all back + more when I had some potato chips plus that dinner. I had tons of white rice and white rice is bad but ugh when paired with the pork and the egg and SHIT IT WAS HEAVEN. My tastebuds died and went to heaven. Might have to squeeze in some blogilates exercises tomorrow. Ugh, problems.

ANYWAY ANYWAY ANYWAY! To make this post relevant and for it to have some sense... Here's my "SONGS THAT I LIKE RIGHT NOW" Playlist! *Cue applause*

1. Up Dharma Down - Lazy Daisy
2. Haim - Forever (The Knocks Remix)
3. De La Soul - No
4. Rebecca Ferguson - Fairytale
5. Ed Sheeran - U.N.I.
6. Dj Fresh Feat. My BABIES (Rizzle Kicks) - Skyhighatrist
7. Mo Thugs - It's All Good

Ooh. What a short list. I have yet to listen to Alphabeat's new album, though. So hopefully I can add more songs to this list.

BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS

I read The Fault In Our Stars in one day! I was never able to put it down. That was how lovely and amazing and sad and happy and sappy and wonderful and PERFECT it was! This book made me realize how I take the simplest things for granted and how lucky I am to have healthy lungs and legs. I am, however, jealous of the love Hazel and Augustus shared and I am still very much hopeful that I can find someone who's smart, hot, handsome, PERFECT like him in the future. I sound like a 14 year old but books like that just gives you so much hope and makes you feel so grateful about the simplest of things. You don't need a deep brain to understand it and that makes it so much more beautiful, how close it is to real life with no confusing twists and turns. It's just perfect. I shed buckets of happy-sad tears by the last page. IT WAS PERFECT.

NEW MALE MODEL OBSESSION!

OH HOT DAMN.
Today's handsome model is Norman Theuerkorn. I have no idea how to pronounce his last name but is that even important?! IS HIS NAME EVEN IMPORTANT IF HE HAS A FACE LIKE THIS? Nope.

APPARENTLY. AFTER FURTHER INVESTIGATING-SLASH-STALKING... I found out that Norman Theuerkorn is a German rapper who goes by the gangsta (lol) name "Nockout". Hah.

Here's a video of his rap song which I guess is about weed? I have no idea what he's saying but I can stare at his face all day long. Maybe I should add German to my long list of languages-to-learn-just-so-I-could-understand-what-cute-guys-are-saying.

Story of my life

I remember when we broke up the first time

saying, "This is it. I've had enough", 

cos like we hadn't seen each other in a month

when you said you needed space.

Then you come around again and say

"Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me."

Remember how that lasted for a day?

I say "I hate you" we break up, you call me, "I love you."

New Feel Good Song

Finished watching Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and this played in the end.

First Day + Magic Mike

I'm done with my first day of school yesterday and it drained the life out of me and my wallet! My first class was at 8am and my day ended at 9:10pm! What the flying fuck! I had the longest break ever and my second class was free cut. I ended up going to a friend's place with my other break-mates.

I thought the 2-day schedule was fine. I didn't expect it to be that tiring. I guess I'm still not used to waking up so early and coming home that late plus one of my classes really scared the socks out of me, too. It's my law subject and after our first meet, "very intimidated" is an understatement.

I watched Magic Mike today! I know I'm pretty late but it was awesome! The storyline was shit and I the Tarzan stripper kinda scared me. He looked like a cross between The Undertake and Mickey Rourke. Nevertheless, Channing Tatum and Matt Bomer were so pretty to look at. Matt Bomer, especially. The dance/strip numbers were really good, I was grinning all throughout their performances. I now have a high stripper standard.

According to the news there was a shootout in ATC. I can't believe that the South isn't that safe of a place anymore!

Train of Thought

PERSONAL DRAMA

On Living Alone + First Day Jitters

Lately I've been thinking about trying to live overseas for awhile, maybe while studying a short course. It's weird how I suddenly have these urges to live independently for awhile. Maybe it has to do with my current situation, I don't know. But it's always good to try and experience something new and a bit terrifying.

Here are a list of few places that I'd wish to live in for a bit. Experience new cultures, etc.

1. Hong Kong

The most plausible of all since it's just over an hour (I believe) or so away from Manila. It's not that expensive and it's a tiny area that I wouldn't feel like I'd get lost. I've been there twice or thrice and it has always been a pleasing experience.


2. London

Maybe it has got to do with my fascination and appreciation for a lot of British things: culture, accent, music, Jordan, love of my life... and wanting to sing the line "Just touched down in London town!" Lol. But seriously, I have this great interest in all things British especially their music. And it's an English-speaking country which means no communication problems! It's very far, though. And very pricey!

Excerpts

"For the first time in your life, you might have to make a conscious decision to be happy. You’ll have to actively work at maintaing a positive mindset, have to strain and sweat to even feel an ounce of “okay.” Before the terrible thing that happened to you, happiness was expected, an absolute guarantee. That was just one of the luxuries you lost.

It’s really cheesy but Michelle Williams once said after the death of Heath Ledger that “Grief is like a slow-moving river”, and it’s true. You’re never completely out of the woods; there will always be days that will feel like the first day. The goal is to face grief every time it says “Sup?” and be like, “What the fuck? You again? I thought I banished you after a year of therapy! Ugh, fine. What do you want to do today? Lie in bed and listen to sad songs all day? Fine! But you leave tomorrow!”

Things will never be like they once were. You’ll never be like you once were. But this is how things work, this is what life is all about. You were never the same after the first time someone broke your heart and you’ll never be the same after you experience a tragedy. These losses will change you in important ways. Now it’s your job to not let them swallow you up completely."

Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/how-to-grieve/#E4WeeyWAJxMLT5ph.99

"You can walk by or be kicked out by the guards for vagrancy. You are staying too long. Before: her sparse yeahs and okays accented with periods (always with periods, you notice) occasionally garnished with a colon and parenthesis, backslash. This is all so meager; she’s not giving you much because she cannot, she is not able. Wait for the is typing… that never comes."

Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2011/the-first-heartbreak/#lwh3GY2QdFrk6pKB.99

"Moving on is like this: one day you forget the taste. The next, you forget the smell. Then the touch. Then the laugh. Then the smile. Then the jokes. Then the eyes, the hair, the hands, the feet. You forget the socks. You forget the fingers, the toes, the sex. You forget the pulses, the beats, the rhythms and how you sometimes felt like they all belonged to you. You forget the words; finally, you forget the voice that spoke them. Moving on is like one day, you’re walking or reading or drinking the sun and one of those footprints, one of those artifacts will creep into your consciousness, “already seen,” the French call this, déjà vu, and you won’t know where it belongs or how it got there. All it takes is a familiar laugh, a recognizable word and you are transported to who knows where."

Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/what-moving-on-is-like/#P2H3BTDoTifvxHOP.99

"I can be mad at you, unreasonably angry. I can wonder how you can love someone with all your heart, cradle their body against yours and create an aggregate of biology, and then just suddenly…not. I can rehash this strange concept in my head and hate you completely and sincerely, sit shaking in my room with the curtains drawn and wonder blindly about the meaning of words; wonder if you ever meant it, if you meant it at the time, if you just lied to me and never meant it. I’ll make myself feverish with the thinking but know underneath it that no, you weren’t lying, you did mean it at the time and now you don’t. And that will be the saddest thing."

Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/what-i-can-do-when-we-break-up/#rhppPsw7TCgzDpib.99

"Don’t say goodbye at all. Keep the relationship going and going and going, until there’s nothing left and you’re in two completely different places. You’re sitting next to each other on the couch but you might as well be in Somalia and them in Delaware. The emotional distance is actually terrifying. Now you know that you can understand someone so completely and then not at all. Just like that. And even though it’s terrible, none of you have the guts to cut it off so you just act out the love; you dig deep inside of yourself to access a time when it felt real and you try to bring it to the surface. It’s really quite dreadful and pathetic. Sometimes, the most painful goodbyes are the ones that never get said."

Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/how-to-say-goodbye-to-someone-you-love/#MpmMIzbRDcKTfBQC.99

"I wonder who you’re going to be without me. If you’re ever going to really change, or if you’re going to find someone who is going to fit into your life perfectly. I wonder if you’re going to stop drinking so much, or make up with your father, or if you’re going to grad school, or if you’re going to have a falling out with your best friend, or move far away to start over. I wonder if you’ll have a period of sadness and wish to talk to me about it. I want to be able to say that you can call me anytime, that I will always be here for you no matter what, but that wouldn’t be good for either of us, now would it?"

Read more at http://thoughtcatalog.com/2012/things-i-wonder-now-that-youre-gone/#hgPf2loyjYUYgfwx.99

Mixtape for the Brokenhearted + Something Extra Extra!

First, I'd like to apologize for all the sad and personal posts lately. It's been a rough week for me and PMS was just a lovely bonus. I'm now in bed, not in my room, but in our guest room. We kinda believe this room has healing powers since this is where my sickly grandparents recuperated before. I guess it's silly to believe such but it wouldn't hurt to try.

I also had a very pleasant surprise earlier today when mom unearthed a rosary which I got in the uni orientation during my first year. I though I'd lost it when my old bag got stolen long ago. I remembered someone talking about the rosary being of great help to him at one point in his life. He said he didn't really mind the rosary until that crucial point and it has helped him a lot. I'd like to believe that this unexpected appearance of my rosary is a sign of divine intervention. God knows I need him now. 

ANYWAY! Enough of the personal stuff! Even I'm tired of talking about my sad, pathetic life. I decided to make a "songs to cry on" playlist because I found myself needing this recently. Crying is such a good release. Err, okay enough with the pity party! Here's the...

Lolz. With additional sad lines to complete the depressing atmosphere.

1. The Weepies - Gotta Have You
"No amount of coffee, no amount of crying. No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine. No, no, no, no, no, nothing else would do I gotta have you."

2. The Weepies - Orbiting
"Now I feel you gone. Cos I know which side you're on and it's not mine."

3. Passion Pit - Constant Conversations
"I never wanna hurt you baby. I'm just a mess with a name and a price."

4. Michael Bublé - Always On My Mind
"Maybe I didn't hold you all those lonely, lonely times. And I guess I never told you I'm so happy that you're mine."

5. Miley Cyrus Cover - You're Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go
"I could stay with you forever and never realize the time"

6. Leighton Meester - Words I Couldn't Say
"There it was the whole world wrapped inside my arms and I let it all slip away. What do I do now that you're gone? No back up plan, no second chance. No one else to blame. All I could hear in the silence that remains are the words I couldn't say"

7. Maroon 5 - Just A Feeling
"The things we said and did have left permanent scars. Obsessed, depressed at the same time. I can't even walk in a straight line. I've been lying in the dark no sunshine, no sunshine, no sunshine."

9. Norah Jones - Thinking About You
"Here I am looking for signs of leaving. You hold my hand but do you really need me?"

8. Wolfman ft. Pete Doherty - For Lovers
Not apt, but just a good to cry to when you realize when you don't have a lover (anymore).

9. Bon Iver - I Can't Make You Love Me
"I can't make you love me if you don't. I can't make your heart feel something that it won't."

10. Norah Jones - Why Can't He Be You
"He gives me love that I never got from you. He loves me, too. His love is true. Why can't he be you?"


+ Something Extra Extra!

Though Catalog hits all the spots when it comes to sadness and heartaches. Here are a few of my favorites. 12 depressing essays about love, risks, pain and of course, hope of recovery.

Google Images

1. "It's Over, Stop Texting Me"
2. "I'm Taking A Sad Day"
3. "Things You Learn After Your First Heartbreak"
4. "Things I Wonder Now That You're Gone"
5. "What I Can Do When We Break Up"
6. "How To Say Goodbye To Someone You Love"
7. "What Moving On Is Like"
8. "Find Others Amidst The Lost Hurting"
9. "The First Heartbreak"
10. "Relationship Limbo: The Breakup That Hasn't Happened Yet"
11. "The One Person You Never Really Get Over"
12. "What'd You Do Last Weekend? Me? I Got Dumped"

...

Personal.

2011 all over again

Today looks like a good day to wallow in self pity. Join me! Today's to-do list:

• NOT exercise. Or.. Okay maybe just a bit.
• Cook pasta!
• Continue reading "American Psycho"
• Listen to songs on repeat
• WATCH ZOMBADINGS!

In a few days classes will resume and oh my goodness I don't think I'm ready yet! This is a really lazy post. I've had a rough night and I just want to be okay today. Emotionally drained from what happened and curling up in bed with a bowl of pasta feels like the best thing to do. Operation: "Mend a broken heart" starts today!

..

Personal.

Things that tick me off

1. Personality check, please! When people get defensive when someone calls them a bitch or if someone bad mouths them, especially when they say quotes like "If you dont like me, theres nothing i can do news flash bitch I don't live to please you." Or something stupid like that. I hate when people cannot see their faults. What if you REALLY are a bitch? Wouldn't you want to adjust your attitude towards others? People won't call you out on something if they do not see anything wrong with your attitude.
2. Fishermen and fisherwomen (mostly women). Yesterday, this girl posted a picture of her in Instagram and captioned it with basically "I'M FAT" when she is very very very far from being fat. I mean, I'm not the skinniest girl here but I know I'm not fat fat. Her face is oval, she doesn't even have big cheeks. I seriously don't get it. I have big cheeks and I can pass off as fat. It's either she's just fishing for compliments OR she has serious esteem problems. I think the former.
3. Mullet tops. This is just a personal peeve. It just doesn't look good on me.
4. People who don't say "thank you". I've seen this many cases especially when I'm on a bus when men give their seats for women and the latter doesn't even say thank you! Personally, thank you's brighten up my day. It makes me feel appreciated. People!!! Say thank you more often!!
5. People who don't smile. I like smiling and it is 10x better when the other person smiles back. It doesn't hurt to smile at strangers, too but I only do that if if we've shared something in common like if we both saw a funny situation. I don't know if I'm making sense so bottomline is: SMILE. ALL THE TIME. IT BRIGHTENS OTHER PEOPLE'S DAY.
6. Misplaced/misconceived Filipino pride. I'm all for nationalism but sometimes people can take it overboard. I remembered one time people made a big deal when a Jollibee branch was seen in a Glee episode. It wasn't even a big part of the episode, it just so happen that one of their musical numbers had a Jollibee branch in the background. And then we have this. I guess it's good to acknowledge a fellow Filipino's success but I don't think it needs a place in the newspapers. Maybe I just haven't read one, but I have never seen a "US VP candidate's chief of staff is a Mexican/Chinese/Yugoslavian". I don't think it's that much of a big deal. It's like saying "Wow! A Filipina came that far! Isn't that amazing?!" All of my countrymen have potential to be something big. You don't have to pick every achievement, just comes off to me negatively; like Filipinos rarely achieve success that's why there's a need to pinpoint everything.
7. Shit news. I heard this on the radio before and me and my dad got ticked off. Why is this relevant? Why are you including this in the evening news? Nobody cares. People with brains don't care. Waste of fucking airtime.

Things that I find odd

1. People who don't like drinking water. Water is sooo good for you. It aids digestion, it makes your skin look better... I can go on with the benefits!
2. People who can sleep for more than 9 hours a day. It's acceptable if you've had a very stressful week and you need to catch up on sleep but on regular days, I think it can be a waste of precious time.

.

Personal.

Things I Couldn't Accept

• Why I wasn't born in London
• Why wasn't I born a Kardashian
• Why wasn't I born to be the wife of Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, James Franco, Cristiano Ronaldo... etc.
• That Matt Bomer is gay 

I've succumbed to reading 50 Shades of Grey. I didn't buy the book, though. A friend of mine sent me a .pdf file of all 3 books. I've read a very funny and witty review on it a few weeks back and I must admit I agree. I don't consider this the very best of modern literature but it's a fun read when you're bored or stuck in traffic. It's quite graphic and at times I find myself raising an eyebrow and thinking "What the fuck are they doing. Why are they doing this to themselves. That sounds painful." Ah but it's fun.

Everytime I see a picture of Matt Bomer, though I have to admit he's my Christian Grey. #unpopularopinion

Cebu

Just got back from our class Cebu trip. Those were one of the most fun 3 days and 2 nights I've had. Barely got any sleep, ate so much good food, drank and just had a really good time.


Anyway, I'm tired and I feel fat. I think it's time for me to curl up in bed.

On maturity

Hello! Another rainy day here in Manila. It has been raining pretty hard since yesterday so I hope everyone's safe. This weekend is the opening weekend of The Dark Knight Rises a.k.a. best movie ever (even though I haven't seen it yet. Not gonna talk about it. FYI. Almost cried when all my plans to see it yesterday was foiled)

Anyway, rainy afternoons make me pensive. Today's thoughts circled around how I have changed (mostly for the better) and matured throughout the years. I'm only 20 and most of the following attitudes/characteristics/whatever may seem pretty shallow to you but I see them as "proof that Justine grows to be a wiser and more open human being"

Another list post! Yay!

1. I have now understood how important education is. It may sound silly that I now understand how important education is because when has it ever not been important?! But see, I'm 20. A lot of people in my age or generation are mostly talking about how they are so lazy to study, that they question the importance of certain subjects, and of course there are (a lot of) times when I question the world on how sine, cosine, and tangent is of any relevance to my life? I have observed that I rarely whine about my education and how I think something is irrelevant. Everything about education is relevant. I whine about how hard a project is or how tired I am but I have learned to not question the activity's importance. *Bow*
2. Good music is mostly found underground. That statement makes me sound like a proper hipster but its true. I have found so much musical gold underground that I often wonder why these songs aren't mainstream. I'm not going to list down the artists that I think deserve more than they do because I don't consider myself an indie/underground music master and I still have a lot to discover but yeah, you get my drift.
3. I now like peanut butter. I have avoided peanut butter for the majority of my life but surprisingly loved it when I tried it earlier this year. 
4. Books before boys. In relation to number 1. People meet someone at any stage in their life but you only get a couple of shots at college.
5. My preference in men. I now like boys with brains. Not that I used to like idiots (Oh, wait...) but I did like boys mostly for how they look like. I guess every girl goes through that phase. I admittedly looked for the superficial characteristics rather than the important stuff like does read, does he have goals in his life, is he kind to servers and maids... etc. Maybe it comes with my age and I'm already looking for someone who I quite possibly live the rest of my life with that's why I try to find the best of the best. Swag doesn't pay the bills!
6. Health-conscious. Still something I have yet to improve on but at least I have started doing it right. I used to be greatly conscious about my weight that I took the dangerous way. I did shed some pounds but when I found out what may happen to my body if I didn't stop, scared the shit out of me. Now I opt to eat right, lessen portions and stay healthy. I am no longer interested in risking my health for a few years of "skinny".
7. Spend my money wisely. Through the years I've spent so much on useless items like cheap make-up and phone credits. I refuse to try to calculate how much since it'll just make me sad and utterly disappointed with myself. Good thing that when 2012 came, I promised myself that I would improve in any which way I could and that includes my spending habits. I now understand that quality is better than quantity with regards to make-up. I research and read reviews before I buy items especially if I'm putting it on my face. I also think twice when buying clothing because I used to buy whatever I like and committing unforgivable acts such as buying a clothing smaller than what is comfortable for my body. (My belief was I could lose the weight then fit right into them perfectly... which never happened. I am an idiot.) Proud to say that I've buried my absurd spending habits and idiocy. Congratulate me.
8. The value of every centavo. If there's one thing I hate, it's being shortchanged. That is probably one of my biggest pet peeves. Last week I found myself paying the exact amount of Php 7.75. Some people may think that if they pay Php 8.00 and get shortchanged by Php 0.25, it wouldn't matter. But it matters to ME. I've always believed that you can't have a million if you lack 0.25. I seriously live by that. My dad shares the same sentiments but for him, he wouldn't mind being shortchanged IF stores allow being shortchanged by consumers as well. I guess that's pretty fair. So guys, please save your centavos... or give it to me!

Quotable Quotes

"A woman is often measured by the things she cannot control. She is measured by the way her body curves or doesn't curve, by where she is flat or straight or round. She is measured by 36-24-26 and inches and ages and numbers, by all the outside things that don't ever add up to who she is on the inside. And so if a woman is to be measured, let her be measured by the things she can control, by who she is and who she is trying to become. Because every woman knows measurements are only statistics and statistics lie."

Piece of Wisdom

Today (07/14/12)

I downloaded this clip of Dave Franco interviewing his older brother James. Seriously the sexiest brothers in the whole world. Next in line are the Hemsworth brothers. Yup.

Anyway, it's an extremely hot and humid Saturday here in the Phil-up-ppines today. My laptop says its around 31 degrees. Can I be honest? I don't know how to gauge the temperature. All I know is the lower it is, the colder it is. Meh. I can always google it.

Spent last night at a friend's house and played Logo's quiz. It was actually a nice way to spend an evening. No alcohol involved, (though they were on their way to buy some when I left) lots of laughter and stories. I love spending my nights like that. I've never been the type to go out and party in clubs. I hate dressing up to impress or attract other people especially when its at the expense of comfort. Maybe its the South lifestyle that I have imbibed. I have observed that people down here are more relaxed and chill whereas people from the north are always out and about partying hard. Just not my thing.

This is happening right now. I've been hearing good things about this show so I'm quite excited to watch it.

I am also being asked to make posters for an org project. I'm looking forward to buying art materials later (hopefully) and start on it soon! I already have some good ideas which I can't wait to materialize. Creative juices please flow flow flow!

RK | SS

Fashion Chmashion

We'll have a class field trip in Cebu in two weeks and I have nothing to wear for our "Friendship Night"!!!! We were asked to dress up as our favorite celebrity and I have no idea who's style I should copy!

Here are a few choices:

Points to consider in choosing the right look:

• Must be comfy and not form-fitting. BECAUSE I feel fat and I could not be bothered to SUCK. IT. ALL. IN. ALL. NIGHT. LONG. Plus I'd like to enjoy my night without worrying if my stomach is sticking out (which is happening quite a lot lately). Of course, dieting now is out of the question.
• Flowy and easy to move around in. It's a party. There'll be booze. There'll be games. It might get physical and I don't want any part of my outfit to rip.
• Should NOT be sleeveless. This kind of arms is not the only thing people should be scared of.
• No pants. Comfort. Comfort. Comfort. Plus, I find after-party-leg-bruises sexy.
• Should NOT be too warm. It's a July evening, I don't want to sweat too much.

So yup. Basically I'm planning to just use my distressed shorts. I'm also sure that I'll use a hippie band. Anyway, just putting these here for future reference.

I'm thinking of going to the thrift store today to check out items there. Ugh. This is stressing me out!

[UPDATE]

I went as Vanessa Hudgens. Woopee.

Friday Achievements

AND WE ARE BACK ON!

I'm so happy I was able to download Photoshop today! Its only CS5 and I would have much preferred owning a CS6 because that was the last I used and it was amazeballs (the grey tone here looks so Windows 97-ish) but whatever its still Photoshop and I didn't have to pay for it! I love not having to pay for awesome stuff!

Now I'm working on a new header since I adjusted the width of the template to accomodate larger pictures without looking nasty. I'm quite tired right now so I might have to put that off until tonight or tomorrow seeing as I still have to figure out the perfect length, width, yadda, yadda, technical shit. Plus I have homework to finish! And I still have a package to send out! And I'm planning to go out tomorrow night so I can't afford losing any more time! Goodness my priorities are scattered all over the place.

And can we please talk about how there isn't any decent torrent available for Marley (2012)?! I mean how is that possible that my go-to site doesn't have it? I mean maybe it does but its jumbled up with the other "Marley Movies" which includes concerts and other videos THAT I AM NOT INTERESTED IN. I would love to watch the documentary film soon. Tsk tsk. Internet, you have failed me now.

Oh well. I guess Baby Daddy would have to do for now.

Thursday Night Blues

Feeling the blues. I need this now.

Photo dump!