What made my morning

Friday saddies

"I miss running into you in the hillside stairwell; trying to think of something funny to say while my stomach did backflips. I miss wishing you would let me do more than put my arm around you, because at least then I could put my arm around you. I miss being frustrated by you because now I only get to miss you. I'm painfully aware that for years to come I'll be looking for you in every girl that I pursue; because sometimes, I swear, when something reminds me of you I can relive a moment and smile as I remember the happiest I've ever been. But someday, I know, I'll hear that you've met someone else; that may be or it may be in ten years, I don't know. What I do know is that I'll have to call in sick on that day. I've always been bashfully aware that my feelings for you were always stronger than you were strictly comfortable with even when you cared about me, too. I regret that but I can't find it within me to be sorry because no one has ever done so much to make me believe that I wasn't a loser as you did. I remember those weeks in February when you flited with me. You were far from subtle, but I was so clueless. For days I pondered over the super sweet meaning behind your admission to me that I was "your type". I'm actually smiling and tearing up at the same time as I remember that. I was so happy, but I really couldn't believe that it was true that you liked me. You were so cool, so poised, so talented, smart, and beautiful. And at that time I had never loved myself less: how could you notice me? But you did. Time passed, and you and I never worked out but you made me believe that I was worth something, that someday I wouldn't be alone anymore. You will always be one of the most important people in my life and I'll never forget you. 

You're always be the girl that got away. I hope I can tell you that someday."

21

Now that my 21st birthday's around 2 months away, I think it is time to make a birthday wishlist blog post! My birthday's not really my most favorite day since I rarely throw a birthday party and usually I don't get any gifts. I'm not a deprived kid, though. It's just my parents give me stuff on my non-birthday days and it'd be such a luxury to get more stuff on my birthday itself. Does that make sense? Anyway. Point is, my birthday's not much of a big deal. At one year it fell on the Holy Week and I spent my birthday eating fish for breakfast lunch and dinner. I believe it was my 16th birthday, also known as my "Bitter 16th".

But hopefully this year will be different. I've been exerting much effort into making my life so much better as the years go by. 2011 was shit, 2012 was the bomb, and I'm hoping 2013 would be a blast as well. If 2013 would even be half as awesome as 2012 was, I'd be satisfied.

On to the point of this post! Now I'm not really a materialistic person and much more than these items I'd be listing down, I would just want to have peace of mind for 2013. No more negativities, no more worries. Although the latter would be impossible to have since I'm such a worry-wart... But I'm keeping my hopes up! I also do plan to read more on Buddhism to learn more about keeping yourself satisfied with the basic things, staying positive, loving yourself... all those good stuff.

Whoever sees this post, I hope you wouldn't think I'm an immature person. I just like a lot of useless, kiddy stuff.

1. Crocodile Onesies

2. Full body pillow

3. VSCOCam

4. Clear Iphone 4s Case

Hope I could find any animal onesie here in the Ph.

"Girls" Quotes

"You are the best thing in my life I dont know how to behave without you. Id die if you go away"

"I have tried this whole thing of being selfless and taking care of everyone around me and worrying about everyone before myself but im an individual and I feel how I feel when I feel it and right now I feel like I dont ever wanna see you again"

"I can never be a gay man. I hate giving blowjobs and having anal sex"

"I'm falling in love with you"
"That's a crazy thing for you to say. Way too early for you to say something like that"
"I'm sorry"
"I love you so fucking much"
"What??"
"I love you so fucking much"

"Please please don't leave me I want you to stay this night and every night I don't want you to ever leave my house I will burn it down if you leave there's a good shot I will kill myself if you leave I don't wanna be without you"

"I wanna be happy."
"Of course you do, everyone does."
 "Yeah but I didn't think I did. I made a promise such a long time ago that I was gonna take in and experiences all of them so that I could tell other people about them and maybe save them but it gets so tiring trying to take in all the experiences for everybody letting anyone say anything to me."


"You think I'm a crazy girl?"
"No, I don't think you're at all. I wasn't thinking that."
"I mean of anything I think I'm too smart and too sensitive and too, like, not crazy. So I'm feeling all these big feelings and containing all these stuff for everybody else's. Ok I read this article about Fiona Apple in New York Magazine where she said 'Oh everybody acts like I'm nuts. I'm not nuts I just wanna feel it all' It's like that's what I'm like. I just wanna feel it all."

"I can't believe you're doing this."
"Doing what?"
"You basically begged me to tell you all my feelings.."
"And I'm glad you did."
"Well, you're not glad that you did. No you're not glad cos you're not acting glad and also you didn't tell me anything about you."

"So do you want me to leave?"
"No. I want you to stay."
"Cos you don't have to say that if you don't mean it."
"I know."

"Okay, I love you. So much. Like to-the-end-of-the-world-and-back so much. But sometimes I love you the way like I feel sorry for a monkey like they just need so much help when they're in such an ugly cage. You know what I mean?"
"This is not correct. You don't want this. You don't know what you're doing. You don't want this."

"You hate everything. I can't be the only thing you like. Maybe I can handle your black soul better when I'm older but I can't handle it now so maybe you just have to go change and then we can be in love in another time"
"I need to change? Maybe you need to change, you ever think about that?"

"I thought you were done with that"
"So did I. I feel like I'm unraveling, Adam. I'm really really scared."
"Stay right where you are, I'm coming to you."

"You're here."
"I was always here."

"I'm the same person I was when he loved me. In fact, I'm an arguably better person because I went away and figured out what I want."

"Letting go doesn't come very naturally to me."

"I really care about you and I don't want to anymore because it feels too shitty for me."

"Please don't tell anyone this, but I wanna be happy"

"I love you. Maybe I'm an idiot for it. But I always have."

"I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, thinks I'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me."

"I have been dating someone who treats my heart like it's monkey meat. I feel like a delusional, invisible person half the time so I need to learn what it's like to be treated well before it's too late for me."

"All I ever wanted for you was to find satisfaction outside of our relationship"

"There are certain people who are meant to remain in your past. I made a mistake trying to repurpose you"

"Sometimes being really good all the time feels really bad. But I'm on a journey. It's my journey and I'm okay"

"When we're together, he's so there, and he's so present, and then... he disappears for 2 weeks and doesn't answer any of my text messages and I feel as though I invented him."