I think I have exhausted my "cry on the shoulder of your friends" pass. I am now very aware and slightly embarrassed when I have to rant to them about how sad I am. Of course they don't tell me upfront that I'm being annoying/overbearing/pitiful, but I don't want to be that person who just rely on their friends all the goddamn time. There are some things that you should figure out on your own.
With that lengthy intro, I have rendered the services of google to search for articles that can help me, little by little, on how to accept and move on. What I have realized is that I am not in this alone, I am not the only person in this planet who has experienced heartbreak like this. Most people have gone through much worse, so what's stopping me from being okay?
ANYWAY. Here are some articles and excerpts which I could read every now and then when the pain and loneliness seem unbearable.
1. How To Get Over A Broken Heart
"In any case, it's over now, and save for a bit of humiliation about the circumstances of the ending, there is nothing left to do but mourn."
"Time passes, and passes, and the pain of not being with them becomes more of a dull ache, something that is uncomfortable but can be lived with, like a still serious prognosis that is mercifully no longer terminal. You begin to feel capable again, like all of your successes and joys aren't palpably dulled because they be shared with the person you love. Even the sweet, if distant, concept of loving another person becomes a possibility - something you couldn't do right now but one day might be able to, and the idea is pleasant and comforting. Everything is turning up, and though things are difficult, the pain is no longer completely obscuring the beauties of your life. That is, of course, until you see it."
"Reflecting on the relationship is no longer a part of your day, it's no longer something you draw energy and purpose from."
"'Most of our troubles are due to our passionate desire for and attachment to things that we misapprehend as enduring entities.' -Dalai Lama"
"We pin our happiness to people, circumstances, and things and hold onto them for dear life. We stress about the possibility of losing them when something seems amiss. Then we melt into grief when something changes"
"When you stop trying to grasp, own, and control the world around you, you give it the freedom to fulfill you without the power to destroy you. That's why letting go is so important: letting go is letting happiness in."
"Accept the moment for what it is. Don't try to turn it into yesterday; that moment's gone. Don't plot about how you can make the moment last forever. Just seep into the moment and enjoy it because it will eventually pass. Nothing is permanent. Fighting that reality will only cause you pain."
"Hold lightly. Contrary to romantic notions, you are not someone's other half. You are separate and whole."
"Justify less. I can't let him go-I'll be miserable without him. I'd die if I lost her-she's all that I have. These thoughts reinforce beliefs that are not fact, even if they feel like it. The only way to let go and feel less pain is to believe you're strong enough to carry on if and when things change."
"Open your mind. We often cling to things, situations or people because we're comfortable with them. We know how they'll make us feel, whether it's happy or safe. Consider that new things, situations and people may affect you the same. The only way to find out is to let go of what's come and gone."
"Release the need to know. Life entails uncertainty, no matter how strong your intention. Obsessing about tomorrow wastes your life because there will always be a tomorrow on the horizon. There are no guarantees about how it will play out. Just know it hinges on how well you live today"
"Understand that pain is unavoidable. No matter how well you do everything on this list, or on your own short list for peace, you will lose things that matter and feel some level of pain. But it doesn't have to be as bad as you thing. As the saying goes, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Letting him go was one of the hardest things I had to do. But it wasn't just letting him go; it was letting it all go. The future we had planned. The security of the love I knew I'd wake up to every morning."
"Part of me felt that we had a connection that may not come again, or at the most, wouldn't come easily. Another part of me wondered if perhaps he didn't realize what he had or how rare what he had in me was."
"Regardless, even if I had my answers to any of these questions, I knew there was a part of me that could never look at him again with the adoration I once did. Regardless of any of these questions, even if answered, it was over. Instead of being stuck in the phase of wondering how this all happened and bargaining in sadness, I stopped and looked at the big picture."
"I went from thinking in terms of 'If we had just changed this, it could have worked' to 'What can I make sure not repeat and what can I take away from this?'.
"As painful as this thing has been
I just can't be with no one else.
See I know what we've got to do.
You let go, and I'll let to too.
'Cause no one's hurt me more than you
And no one ever will."
- Lauryn Hill
"Nobody is your savior, except you and perhaps a God you do or do not pray to."
"I belong deeply to myself"
"I do my thing and you do your thing. You are you and I am I. And if the end we end up together, it's beautiful"
"In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on."
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